


[ 𝗬𝗢𝗨 ] Eren Jaeger x Fem reader

by dxrkluvie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃の巨人 | Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan (Movies)
Genre: Adult Content, Adults, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Anime/Manga Fusion, Badass Levi Ackerman, Badass Mikasa Ackerman, Bottom Eren Yeager, Car Sex, College Student Eren Yeager, Cute Eren Yeager, Dominant Eren Yeager, Drugs, Erotica, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fetish, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Love, Love Confessions, Manga & Anime, Marijuana, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Multi, Older Eren Yeager, Omega Eren Yeager, Oral Sex, Psychology, Reader-Insert, Rough Sex, Sex, Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll, Sex Toys, Shameless Smut, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan References, Smut, Stoner Eren Yeager, Top Eren Yeager, University, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:09:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29530362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dxrkluvie/pseuds/dxrkluvie
Summary: This love  story will be very personal and intimate. It will be based on /some / real life  events that I've been through + my deep love and admiration for Mr. Eren Jaeger.It will take place in a modern AU with some parts & plots of the anime applied.In this particular plot Eren will be 19 and I / reader /  will be 22.Also I will be using ''m/n'' = my name , instead of the standard '' y/n'' = your name format , just to make it a bit more personal.I hope you can slip in my shoes and enjoy seeing Eren through my point of view.Have fun.
Relationships: Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Comments: 7
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**00:00 AM**

It was a late November night I was sitting at the balcony with a joint in my hand. The smoke was dissolving into the cold winter air. There were no stars in the sky. The moon seemed to have been sleeping behind a thick cover of clouds. 

I was looking at my phone, resisting to go trough my ex's social media again. 

" Stop that. " I spoke to myself " It is useless and pointless. "

I was well aware that dwelling on past events was very unhealthy, but my often coping method would be to let it hurt and let it go. Including hurting myself additionally. 

It was eating me alive. Somewhat pleasant, somewhat not. This windmill of emotions was a mix of angst, sadness and bittersweet nostalgia. It was as if someone punched me in the guts and I liked it. 

**Love always hurt. It never forgave anyone , and made sure you paid every bill whether you were rich or poor. Someone irrelevant or someone very important.**

I plugged my earphones in my phone and listened to some of my favorite tracks, inhaling the herb. My body felt heavy as I was getting higher so I decided to put the smoke out and get inside my room. 

I lit some scented candles and laid down on my bed. 

The feeling was good. Relaxing and numbing. 

It felt as if my feelings were not as strong as they were. And of course this was only under the influence of the drug. 

My head was a mess and it was going to explode. I was thinking of the wasted time.   
The wasted effort and emotions that I have put into a certain person. 

We , or at least, I saw myself with him in the future, yet everything just went to hell. Was gone with the wind and I could never put into words how much this bugged me .

What I also could not put into words was my overwhelming attraction to Eren , whom I've known for a while now . It felt like some sort of unhealthy obsession. He had set a flame into my heart that I didn't want to be put out , strangely enough.  
I really had the urge to text him, which I was strongly resisting for some reason .

I started to get paranoid. I thought this would be very toxic since I was not over the previous guy I was with. 

However , it was a lot stronger than me. Even though it was 1 AM already, I dared to shoot him a text. 

I had some sort of wishful thinking . My anxiety level escalated when I actually recieved a response from him. I didn't expect him to reply at all. Let's not mention reply quickly. 

My heart was pounding as I did not know what to say next. 

He was a little cold, but seemed to be a good listener. For now. 

I was wondering, how on Earth would I explain everything to him?   
In the next text message, I simply just asked him to come through .

* * *

**01:30 AM**

The man was at my door. He knocked and I let him in. 

" Good evening. " I said. 

" Hello. " he replied. 

My window was open, Eren decided to look out of it. His eyes were laying lost in the city lights that were beautifully complimenting them. 

This was the first thing that caught me. His gorgeous hues. 

" Why did you call me? " Eren asked. 

" First of all I didn't expect you to reply nor come at this time. " 

" But here I am. " he said , quietly .

**I liked how his personality had mellowed out through the years even though he did not seem to be his best self now.**

" And I thank you for this. " I said and laid on my bed. " You are solid 3 years younger than me. " 

" And? " he raised his bushy brow. 

" Never been attracted to someone younger before. " I sighed. 

" I see the picture clearly. " 

" You do? " I raised my eyebrow, however he couldn't see that as it was quite dark in the room. 

Eren walked towards me , slowly as recently he had issues with his leg , carefully sitting down on my bed as well . 

" You know " I said - " Sometimes I think if life is worth living..." 

" This is up to you to decide. " 

" I can't. " 

" Why? There's probably people who care about you. " 

" I'm not so sure. My family is, at the very least, trash... It's draining. " I sighed .

Eren laid down beside me. Both of us were staring at the ceiling without saying a word for the next half an hour. 

" Eren.. " 

" Yes?"

" How about your family.? " 

" My father... I don't want to talk about... My mother was killed. " 

" I see. " 

His breathing got heavier. There was sadness drawn upon his face , however no sorrow. I did not question any further , even though I wanted to. 

" Eren. " 

" Hm? " 

" I..well uhm." 

He did not respond , waiting for me to continue. 

" It's been a while & I. Can I be honest? " 

" I think so. " 

" I've been feeling a certain way about you. " 

" Is that good or bad?" 

" I don't know. It feels good but wrong at the same time. " 

He just nodded and turned to the side, turning his back to me. 

Eren'e company was enough for me. At least for now. His presence was somewhat beautiful, even though he was in his head a lot as well. I've heard about his hatred of discrimination , therefore I was avoiding such topics.   
I did not want to do anything to make him feel bad

I was falling for him more and more. 


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up on the next day and started getting ready for work. 

Another typical day passed. The city was grey and boring with grey and boring people, who served no particular purpose. Or maybe this was my nihilistic thinking .

In both of my work breaks I texted Eren. I used to do this with my ex. It kind of made me feel hopeless. 

Was I filling voids? Or was I wasting my time? Perhaps both. 

**I knew that I loved Eren for sure.**  
But I was still battling something inside me. I was doing my best to forget my ex. 

Perhaps it wouldn't happen. The scar was too deep now. 

But as they said, time healed everything. I believed it. I've been heartbroken before. Many times. 

* * *

I got home and my phone rang. 

It was Eren.   
We spent about two hours talking. 

A deep conversation - this is something I really wanted from him. 

I wanted the words he was afraid to say . The lonely ones that he kept hidden in between the folds of his heart. 

Luckily enough for me he agreed to come over tonight again. 

It was around 9 PM when he arrived. 

" Let's take a walk around the city ." I suggested and he agreed. 

His presence was making me feel alive. 

We walked into a dark valley that was inbetween two buildings . It was giving us privacy and I loved that. 

" Eren. " 

" Yes? " 

" I know you don't really respond to such things but I really want to give you my all and at least have you absorb it. " I laughed a bit. " Like a sponge. " 

He gave me a weird look. I did not really pay attention since I was so caught up in looking directly into his gorgeous big green eyes that I adored so much. 

" They're beautiful. " 

" You always say that. " 

" Because they are. You are. It might sound weird. But can I kiss you? " 

The man thought for a second. It made me nervous.   
He did not reply. 

**But acted. In a way I loved.**

In no time he had me against the brick wall of the old building. His lips were pressing on mine. 

**I melted.**

I've been waiting for this ever since I knew him. 

I quickly wrapped my arms around him & gripped him as tight as possible. My hand untied his beautiful hair and brushed trough it with my fingers. 

His both hands got underneath my shirt & he carefully groped both of my breasts.   
I shivered 

For the first time in many years I felt something . 

" Mmh.. Eren.. " 

He looked at me, with having one of his bushy eyebrows raised. 

" I love you so insanely much. " I said as my voice was shaking. 

It was so funny how he managed to freak me out in the most beautiful way possible. 

I literally had no words left for this man. I just loved him. At some point I started believing that he wouldn't respond back ever. 

But I felt like him just taking it was somewhat good enough as I was pouring all my emotion about him on him. 

What I felt for this man was overwhelming , it hurt. 


	3. Chapter 3

**THE NEXT DAY**

* * *

**It was a late afternoon .**  
I was in the car with Eren we were jamming to our favorite songs.   
The windows were open and the wind was messing with his hair. I thought it looked so beautiful. As usual.   
We were going away to the countryside as I promised to let my best friend stay in my flat with her **''boyfriend''** since she did not have her own place, yet.   
And neither did I.   
I was unfortunate enough to share the same apartment with my roommate - Stephanie.   
She was not a bad person, but god, she was so loud and obnoxious. Her fragile figure was fitting twice the size of the volume and noise she would usually cause . She seemed to enjoy partying and taking people from both genders to her own room almost every night.   
As for me I went to uni then to work & back. To be fair I had my wild teen years and now that I was in my 20's , I would just rather stay in.   
Seeing strangers on almost daily basis was no news to me anymore. I was so used to it that the last few months I felt so weird if the environment in my , well , our ,apartment was quiet.

* * *

  
" Hey m/n. " Eren called me, bringing me back from daydreaming about him. 

  
" Yeah? " I shook my head. 

  
" Do you believe in free will? "

  
" No. " 

  
" Why is that? " 

  
" I don't think that anyone is free. Ever since we are born, we are conditioned by our parents. And after that, in the certain society we live in. We are taught to behave a certain way, to act a certain way. " 

  
He remained silent as I continued to get philosophical.   
Sometimes I felt like he asked me those things, to find answers he didn't want to admit to himself.   
Eren had gotten very quiet, nothing compared to what he used to be.  
I was getting a little worried, but at the same time I was wondering if I should interfere or not.   
I had this one philosophy where I thought that letting people make their own mistakes was the best for their growth and I believe I was right. 

  
" Eren. " 

  
He nodded. 

  
" I love you, baby. " 

  
A very light smile appeared upon his face. And as usual, no response.   
Sometimes I felt like I was wasting my time. And sometimes I was feeling so awkward to tell him all of this. But ever since my ex cheated on me I decided to try to enjoy life. If that was possible.   
We finally reached the final destination. Since my aunt had a job abroad I was the one who was sometimes visiting and cleaning / taking care of the small, but very cozy house she owned.   
The night was chill. Since it was far away from the big city, the air was clean and the sky was clear. I always had the best rest there.   
My house had a big front and backyard.

It had two floors that were connected by a staircase that was located outside.   
First floor had kitchen, bathroom and a spare room that we usually used as dining room. Upstairs, there were two rooms & both of them were bed rooms. 

  
Both of us decided to go upstairs and start unpacking.   
He was sorting out all the clothes while I was folding the blankets and putting on the sheets. 

  
" Sex toys, really? " he raised his eyebrow. 

  
" What's wrong with it? " 

  
" Nothing, just unexpected. " 

  
" I can let you use them on me later on. " I chuckled. 

  
" Sure. " he agreed and placed them inside the nightstand that was right beside the bed we both were going to share away.   
I went downstairs to prepare dinner for both of us. He agreed on trying something different that was from my cultural background.

* * *

Me and Eren decided to go upstairs .   
I left one of the windows open, even though the room was heated.

  
" It defeats the purpose. " he furrowed his eyebrows at me. 

  
" You might be right but I can't really sleep in a hot room. It will just balance it out. " I said and pulled the curtain. 

  
This was my favorite curtain. It was colored in dark red that was mixing up with yellow at the bottom and there was a black cat drawn on it. I've kept this curtain since I was a child.   
" I really love when the light of the moon comes trough it. It changes the color. And the mood. " 

  
" Yeah. " Eren sat on the bed and took his shirt off. " I wonder what your roommate would be doing now. "   
" She's definitely playing some of those drinking games. Or playing with people. "   
Both of us laughed at how stupid that sounded like. But it was totally Steph. And I knew well that my friend being in my place wouldn't cause her the slightest discomfort. 


	4. Chapter 4

" Oh so this type of 'games' " he said " Wow. " 

  
" Yeah I know. But I don't wish to bother. Never did, never will. " 

  
Seeing him smile really brightened my mood. And me and good mood could almost never go in the same sentence. Except for when I was with him.   
His smile was definitely fading throughout the years and it was making me quite sad. I wanted to love him like nobody has ever loved him before.   
I slipped into my so called pyjama. It was an over-sized shirt that I have borrowed from him and my bikini.   
Eren was staring at the ceiling, speechless. I laid down beside him & he randomly got on top of me.   
His eyes met mine

  
**_I shivered._ **

  
I also began to think he's doing it on purpose since he knew how much I admired his big , gorgeous green emeralds.   
Eren started to kiss on my neck.   
My heart was hammering against my chest, it felt like it would rip through it.   
I was starting to realize how addicted I was getting to him.   
The way he made me feel. What he was doing to me.   
The thrill this guy was giving me was unmatched. I craved him so badly.   
Eren got off of me for a second. Before I was able to objectct, he had already grabbed a pair of beeds and my vibrator from my nightstand.   
  
He locked his sight with mine and went down on the bed. Half of his upper body was leaning on the bed, and his legs were in a kneeling position on the floor. I was pulled down by my hips by him so he could spread my legs in a more convenient position for both of us.   
His lips started tracing on my thighs. 

  
" Fuck.... Ere...n... " I moaned a bit. 

  
The beads had in total three balls on them. He inserted the first one. My body tensed up. 

  
" Not bad. " he said quietly and smirked a bit before inserting the second one. 

  
My hips started to move on their own. The beads inside me were giving me great stimulation.   
He spat on my clit and spread it all over with his tongue which made me squeak a little.   
After that, he turned my vibrator on and placed it at the top of my pussy.   
My body was starting to twitch harder. 

  
" Damn this feels so good ah.. "   
My hips were shaking. He grabbed the handle of the beeds and pulled one of them out of my hole. I grunted. 

  
" You like that, don't you m/n. ? " 

  
" Fuck I love it. "   
He did not reply. Eren pulled the other bead out &; turned the vibrator off.   
I closed my eyes and began to breahte heavily. I could feel his warm breath and wet kisses on my stomach.   
Once again I quivered. 

  
He shoved his tongue in my mouth and swirled it around mine.   
The vibrator was turned on and firmly pressed against my clit .   
It was starting to warm up my whole private area. I knew that the climax was close.   
Eren turned it off. Again.   
For fucks sake stop edging me like that.   
I thought.   
And he turned it on, as if he read my mind.

  
" FUCK ohh..!! " I groaned. 

  
My body received light convulsions.   
The orgasm I felt was hot, delayed and enough said, core shaking.   
Jaeger decided to stand up &; clean the toys with a wet wipe.   
He looked at me. My body had been completely defeated .  
Eren had made me cum hard and he seemed to be proud of it. 

  
" Thought we would have actual sex. " I finally spoke , quietly. 

  
" We can have actual sex. But m/n.. " 

  
" Yes..? " 

  
" About the ' I love you ' part. " 

  
" Oh. " I looked to the side, trying to avoid his eyes on purpose. 

  
" I might feel the same. "

  
" Like being in love? "

  
" I'm not sure. But I feel attached. "

  
" So do I. But the thing is. I really do love you so much. It's stronger than me. And the fact that you spend so much time with me &; get intimate with me doesn't make it any easier. That being said, you volunteer to be loved by me. I'm not sure how you feel. But being in love is probably one of the best things ever."  
Image

  
Eren did not say anything else for the rest of the night.   
We spent it all by spooning in bed. He fell asleep before me.   
I was gently brushing trough his hair and kissing upon his shoulders in his sleep.   
What I felt towards him was pure admiration. And tons of love. 


	5. Chapter 5

**It was around 1 AM**

  
We went for another late night drive.  
I could never put into words how much I loved this man.   
Typically I'd never go for someone who was younger than me but 3 years was not that bad now was it.   
Many thoughts went through my mind. He was making me think a lot. Maybe even overthink.   
Something about him being so complex made me adore him even more.   
And sometimes, the emptiness I was seeing into his eyes was scaring me. He was too young to be in such states. But who was I to judge? After all everyone goes through their own way. Whether younger or older. 

  
" Eren. " I spoke quietly. 

  
" Yes. " 

  
" I wish I could take everything you feel right now away in an instant. " 

  
" Why do you feel all those things for me? "

  
" I can't explain. "

  
" Try. "

  
" Every time I look at you something inside me wakes up. I want to love you &; protect you from the world outside. "

  
" You can't. " 

  
" I know.... '' I looked down " And this thought sickens me beyond explanation. " 

  
" Well. Love is a strong word. It scares people. " 

  
" Yes you're right. But I genuinely am so deeply in love with you. And you're not just a substitute to my ex. Believe me. "   
Sometimes I wondered why I told him all those things. I apparently had the need to shower him with it. He would show physical affection sometimes. But I needed more. I needed him. He was like an addiction I couldn't get over. 

  
The car stopped in the middle of nowhere. We were at a high spot where we could see the view of the lights of the small village we were sitting at.   
I sat at the bonnet of the car. He came in front of me. I leaned backwards. Eren was positioned between my legs, his lips were inches away from mine.  
Moments like those were making my whole life complete. I loved it when it was just me and him.   
He brushed his lips against mine &; I felt like the world stopped. 

  
Eren rested his head on my chest &; wrapped my arms around him. 

  
" I love you so much. " I said and kissed on his head a few times. 

  
" Am I worthy of that? " 

  
" Yes. " 

  
" You know. Sometimes I wish I was like the wind. Just go away from everything and everyone and never come back. " 

  
" Sometimes I feel the same, actually. " 

  
" I don't know if I want you. " Eren spoke quietly " But I know that I don't want anyone else to have you. "   
And as per usual he confused me.   
I was not sure how to reply.   
What I heard was not good enough. I knew it very well. But my heart had a really selective hearing and it was the ' I don't want anyone else to have you' part.   
It lit up a spark of hope. Something I didn't know I was capable of feeling.   
People were always saying that love was not supposed to drive you insane. And maybe they were right.   
Because there was love and then there was Eren. 

  
" Hey. " 

  
" Mhmm? " he replied. 

  
" I think you're worthy of my love. Not because you're the most perfect thing ever. But because you're the one thing that I didn't see coming. You're the person that gets under my skin. "   
After saying that he pecked on my lips. I could hold it anymore and slid my tongue in his mouth. He did not oppose. 

* * *

  
We perhaps had spent about 2 hours of fucking in the car.   
It was getting to me and it was getting worse.   
This guy was making me unsteady. Sometimes I found myself questioning everything that I've had heard about love. 

  
" Eren you drive me nuts..." I told him. 

  
" You do too. " I was not sure if this was a compliment or just another one of his rare times of showing weakness.   
I was so inexplicably drawn to him.   
He was the reason I couldn't sleep at night. 


	6. Chapter 6

It's been a few days since me and Eren returned from the province to the big, grey city .

I was dressed up and going out to a club with my best friend, Mona.

**_For tonight I had chosen to wear black , sexy clothing , My all time favorite . It always suited all occasions ._ **

  
We had a phone conversation beforehand. She was telling me not to act mean to strangers. Something that I was terribly failing at. 

* * *

**WHEN I LOOKED AT THE CLOCK , IT WAS ALREADY 4 AM.**

One shot turned into 6 . After that me, my friend & her group took edibles. The alcohol influenced the level of THC in my blood and my head was spinning. I'd promised myself I'd be home by 2.30 . 

" God I hate clubs. " 

" You haven't been to one in a while, you need to relax. " she said. 

I guess she was right. I was there to feel something instead of nothing at all. 

Mona saw me smile for the first time in ages and was teasing me about it all night. She was also constantly asking about my relationship with Eren. And I myself was not so sure about it. 

* * *

I texted him :

**_Me :_ ** _Hi baby , I know it's 3 AM but can you please pick me up ?_

_**E:** Where are you ? _

_**Me :** I am at club ' no name ' . I will be wearing your favorite dress. You will easily spot me. Oh and .. I want to fuck this shit out of you. _

**_E:_** _Be right there ._

* * *

'' Hey " I told Mona - " I will be going since I have work tomorrow. " 

" Sure . Should I call a taxi for you? I don't want you to go home alone at that time. " 

" I will be fine actually. Thank you. " 

I hugged her and left the building.   
My clothes were now deeply infused with the smell of cigarettes, weed and cheap alcohol . 

Eren honked at me. I was ready to yell, but I was lucky enough to hear his voice . I was still a bit dizzy. I couldn't make up very clearly what he was saying. 

The man got out of the car and wrapped his huge arms around me. 

And here we go again. His touch was driving me insane . The butterflies in my stomach. My pulse. Eren had left a trace in my soul. 

" Your hands are so big. " I mentioned as I intertwined my fingers with his. 

He bent down a bit and rested his chin on my shoulder. He was around 6' and I was 5'4. His palm could fit mine in it twice. 

I gasped. 

" Eren... I'm sorry for waking you up I love you so much soooooo much. " 

And as usual he did not reply. It did not stop me from talking though.   
" I am so horny... " he started to carefully walk me to his car. 

" Can we have sex in here..? " I pleaded.

" Not a good idea. " 

During the whole ride I was talking an insane amount of shit mixed with how in love with him I am. And he wasn't saying a word. 

My muttering continued even when we entered his flat. 

He was so handsome and I just couldn't resist him. Sometimes I was wondering how I got so lucky. 

I pinned him to the wall and looked up at him. Our eyes locked. 

" Eren I love you so much. " I nearly cried. 

He leaned forward and kissed me. I kissed him back a few times.   
My hands started to rub on his crotch. 

" M/n... " he said, I could see the lust in his eyes. It was awakening slowly but surely. 

In a few seconds I was already kneeling before him. He looked down at me, panting lightly. 

" You want it? " 

" Yeah... " 

" Tell me what you want. " I demanded. 

" I want you to suck me.. " 

And I did. 

I slid his pants off and traced my tongue all across his cock then I slid his boxers down and licked it all over. 

My tongue started to flutter around the tip of his cock. I was licking it and sucking around it. 

Eren's breathing got heavy. I took his dick in my mouth and started to suck on it. 

" Mmm.. " he narrowed his eyes and covered his mouth with his palm. 

My mouth moved down to his shaft and balls. I was slowly and gently sucking on each and every one of them while I was jerking him off. 

" Fuck..m/n, I'm gonna cum. "

...and hearing this stimulated me even more. 

My grip around his cock tightened a little. My mouth was once again wrapped around the tip and was stimulating it with my tongue. 

Eren's precum left a slightly salty taste in my mouth. 

" Shitttt..... " he groaned and soon all of his semen was in my mouth.   
Of course I spat it down the drain. 

* * *

He fell asleep before me again.   
I loved to stare at him while he was snoozing. He was so cute . And so alone. I wanted to give him the biggest hug ever and never let him go. 

With him, my world felt like a better place. 


	7. Chapter 7

_**Sometimes, I kept my feelings to myself, because I felt like I couldn't find the language to express them.** _

  
Me and Eren woke up around 7 to have a cup of coffee before uni.   
I was beginning to hate this school with passion and pretty much everything that was standing between me and my crush.   
I wanted him.   
And I feel like he did too.   
We both did.   
But there was something between us, like a wall. Not high enough to stop me to reach for him. But thick enough to restrict me from getting too close.   
It bugged me. 

  
" Did you sleep well? " I asked as I stared at his sleepy eyes. The smell of chocolate tobacco filled in the room. It was one of my favorite combinations. Cigarettes with coffee. 

  
Eren opened the window and whined about me smoking inside. 

  
" I'm sorry. I just want to spend as much time as I can with you. " 

  
" I see.. "   
I absolutely hated how cold he was. I was constantly finding myself battling . Between what I knew and what I felt. 

* * *

  
The day passed rather quickly . I was keeping myself occupied with the lectures &; ignoring everyone who was trying to hit on me.   
Of course I was also texting Eren during all breaks.   
God.   
He was making me so weak. And when I thought of how he made my toes curl I was getting super aroused in the most inappropriate times.   
What's with this guy...   
I always craved him. It was making me freak out. Having sex with him has become so addictive to me.   
And of course, after the whole school day was over I headed to his place. 

  
" Hey ." 

  
" Hi . " 

  
I took my shoes off and kissed his cheek. He sat on his bed and began to read.   
I had promised I'd help him with his studies. 

  
" I wrote your whole essay. All the 5 pages are done, you can thank me later. " 

  
" M/n. Thank you. " he immediately dropped the book he was holding as it was no longer needed. 

  
" I think my stupid professor is hitting on me and she's married. " 

  
" What does she do? " I asked trying to hide my very obvious jealousy. 

  
We were not exactly official but I was just so in love with him.   
Eren patted on the bed, suggesting me to lay beside him & I did. 

  
" She would constantly ask to see me in private almost every day. "

  
" Would you do it? " 

  
" No. " 

  
I let out a deep sigh. It felt like so much came off of my shoulders.   
Eren put his arm around my shoulder. And so it began.   
Around him I was a girl with restless mind and impatient legs. 

  
" I wan you to ruin me... " I whispered and bit my lower lip.   
He climbed on top of me and I watched his fingers nervously flick the well worn elastic of my cotton panties under my skirt.   
He quickly removed his shirt and did the same with mine. Soon enough my bra was thrown away as well. 

  
He was already impatiently grinding his crotch against mine. I got wet.   
He leaned forward and kissed me then he laid on top of me. Both of his hands got placed on my boobs, he was massaging on them gently and giving my nipples light licks from time to time.   
" Oh Eren... " I gasped in pleasure. 

  
I could feel his other hand slide down into my pants rubbing on my clit. My body was responding to his touch. And he seemed to enjoy it.   
His fingers were managing to hit my most sensitive spots. I grabbed the sheet underneath. 

  
" Fuck me.. Eren.. " I gasped as my body was beginning to twitch underneath his .  
He nodded and slid his pants off along with his boxers.   
His cock teased my clit before getting in. 

  
Once he pushed it in both of us groaned. He began to thrust inside my, quite viciously.

After that we switched. His hands were on my boobs the whole time.   
It was rough but very passionate. I found myself making love to him, not just fucking him.   
His hands moved down to my hips and he firmly held my ass as it was bouncing up and down on him. 

  
" I love you so much... " I nearly cried.

* * *

  
The night was rainy . I was looking through the window dressed in nothing but his huge shirt and my undies. 

  
" Why do you like thunderstorms so much? " Eren asked. 

  
" Because I like to see that the nature needs to scream sometimes. " 

  
My time with him felt as if I was a character in a book. And I was still learning how to accept those writings without trying to set all the pages on fire.   
" M/n? " 

  
" Yeah? " I replied. He came and lazily laid his head on my thigh, resting his whole body on the ground. 

  
" I feel so empty. "

  
" Is this why you're afraid to fall in love with someone? " 

  
" .... " 

  
" I see. " I said and started to run my hands through his hair. 

  
" Nobody else knows how I feel. Except for you. " he continued quietly " I feel like I can be vulnerable around you without judgements. " 

  
" I am glad you feel that way. I know that discrimination is a big thing for you. " 

  
" Yes. People's way of thinking makes me sick. " 

  
" Same, 90% of the time. Most are just fake. It's hard to find anything genuine. But it surely does exist if you manage to dig deep into the mud. " 

  
" I think I agree. " 

  
" Eren. I just want those conversations with you. Those deep words and thoughts that you are afraid to say. I want to know them all. I can see it bothers you I am not blind. " 


	8. Chapter 8

It was raining outside for a long time.   
The dark day fell in a deep sleep. 

  
Eren was sleeping and my eyes were outlining his figure.   
We were cuddling in bed and I dozed off.   
After about two hours though , my sleep was interrupted . I woke up due to a loud noise.   
It was him crying. 

  
" Eren are you okay? " 

  
He replied to me, but it was insanely muffled and I could not make up what he was saying because he was sobbing .   
The man turned around, facing me.   
His tears were rolling down and he could barely breathe.   
Needless to say it broke my heart.   
I began to wipe the drops that were rolling down from his eyes. 

  
" Is it another nightmare of yours? " 

  
I whispered and pulled him closer to me.   
Eren shoved his face in my chest. I wrapped my arms around him .

  
". ..yes. " he finally said &; continued to cry, a bit more quietly. 

  
I lifted his chin up, forcing him to face me.   
" It's alright. Don't worry. What was it about? " 

  
I spoke in a calm manner. I felt like I was about to start crying too because I hated seeing him like this. But for the best, I thought I should remain calm and slightly cold in order not to make him even more nervous. 

  
" My mother dying. Again. " 

  
" You have nightmares a lot and I don't like it. " - " I love you. " 

  
I kissed him a few times. On his cheeks and forehead.   
" It's okay baby. Don't worry. " I was continuously assuring him. 

After about 10 minute his breathing normalized and his tears were gone. 

  
" Why do you love me? " he finally asked. 

  
" I don't know . You can't do explain love, you just feel it with your heart. And I've decided that if someone makes me feel anything I'd just let them. " 

  
" And how about your ex? " 

  
" He was an ass. "

  
" Why? "

  
" Many reasons. Too many insecurities bothered everything and we spoke about the same shit again and again and again and there was no progress. I was trying to push forward but he was just pulling me backwards and it was going nowhere. Such people are just waste. And you know what? " 

  
" Hm? " he raised his eyebrow. 

  
I loved seeing the street light peeping through the blinds. It was reflecting into Eren's eyes, making them shine. 

  
" I hate myself for wasting my time with him and having so much patience. Now I'm just....I don't know. I don't think I can put it into words. " - " But I love you for different reasons. You are you, and there's only one you in this stupid world. I love your eyes, way of thinking, it's similar to mine for the most part. " I continued " But you know what, I think it's mostly because you make me feel something. I'm growing quite attached to you. " 

  
" I think I feel the same. " Eren spoke quietly. It made me smile a little bit. " I like having sex with you. " 

  
" Me too. " I giggled a bit. 

  
" You don't smile often. "

  
" And neither do you, Eren. " 

  
" I don't think there's any reasons to smile in this life.. " 

  
" Me neither. " 

  
" But sometimes when I'm with you I feel a little bit of happiness. It's so foreign to me I don't know how to feel about it. " 

  
" ....well maybe just give it time? " 

  
" I did not expect this. "

  
" Neither did I. But now that we are here we may as well go too far...actually I think wrle have already gone far enough. I'm insanely in love with you. "   
Eren turned his back to me and I wrapped my arms around him. My lips kissed on his shoulder a few times .

  
" Eren you are so gorgeous. " 

  
" Do you really think so? "

  
" Yes, I do. "

  
" You know I struggle a lot with trying to understand you or myself and all those things. " 

" Yes I know. This is why I am giving you time. I've been there too. And you're just 19. " 

  
" I haven't dealt with someone older than me in this way before and the difference is quite noticable. "

" In a good way, I hope. " I sighed. 

  
" Yeah, in a good one. I am tired of immature people, consequences and just...everything. " 

  
" Me too. But I am glad I can impact. "   
We spent a few minutes in silence before he spoke again. 

  
" I ..you are the only person who knows how I actually feel, you know m/n? "

  
" Oh really? " 

  
" Yes.. "

  
" Why? "

  
" Because I don't want to talk to them. I don't think they would understand either, so I do not want to waste time on trying to explain shit to shit people. "

  
" I see. " 

  
" Why is your roommate like this? " 

  
I laughed :   
" I wish I could give you a valid reason but I don't know. What I know for sure is that I can barely stand living with her. I don't think she's bad, but Lord, she's obnoxious. " 

  
" If I were you I would freak out more than I already have. " 

  
" You know, this makes me question my sanity sometimes. " 

  
" Rightfully so. " Eren gasped and turned around, he gripped me tightly.   
The warmth of his body comforted me. Everything about him comforted me. 


	9. Chapter 9

Me and Eren had a class together today.   
The professor was almost always asking him to not sit beside me since she wanted to dedicate her personal time to him. 

  
" God , she has children. Is this normal? " Mona asked as she was taking her stuff out on the desk beside mine. 

  
" I am not sure. But look at her trying to shake her tail. " 

  
" Woah. " 

  
" She's definitely jealous because I'm younger and hotter. "

  
" I could see it. " 

  
We both laughed and got scolded for making noise.   
Every time the woman asked if someone in the class had any questions her eyes moved directly towards Eren, therefore I would always raise my hand and ask anything and everything . After all I couldn't leave things like that. 

* * *

" She looked so annoyed every time you tried to ask something. " Mona stated. 

  
" I don't mind attractive people as long as they don't bother me or Eren. " 

  
Mona was two years older than me. She had medium length red her, big lips and hooked nose. She was tall, around 5'8 and was a big heavy metal fan.

  
" I'm typically not the jealous type but she is crossing all lines. It annoys me if she were a classmate I would've put her in her place already. " I continued " I don't want to see her ever again. How many more months until we graduate? " 

  
" Nine. "   
I looked at Mona and we laughed again. 

  
" To be fair " she said. " A lot of people hit on you too. Like Ivan. Or your coworkers. " 

  
" I don't care about them. I don't really have eyes for anyone else. I told you. Yes there could be other cute guys, I acknowledge this. But Eren is just...he has it all even though he has his moments but you know I feel like if you truly love someone you'll love then even when they have a hard time loving themselves. " 

  
" Yes. But I don't approve of too many insecurities." 

  
" Me neither, Mona. But everyone has them. As long as you don't succumb to them that's fine. " 

  
" Is Eren working on them? " 

  
" I don't think so, but I do try to talk to him. " 

  
" I see. " 

  
" He realizes a lot of things but he is young give him a chance. " 

  
" I appreciate you defending him. But I agree he is not even 20 yet. " 

  
" 20 always hits you with a truck and nothing even matters anymore am I wrong? " 

  
" Nope. " she replied " I wish someone told me about this. " 

  
" Half of my class is blocked on social media because I can't stand them. " 

  
" Girl, same. And the creepy comments . "   
I laughed hysterically , remembering all the bullshit she would get. 

  
" If someone like you can get laid, the the standards are below zero. "   
She threw a ball of paper in my face. I loved trolling her sometimes.

  
" Listen I love sleeping with him. It's so addictive. " 

  
" It's because you're genuinely in love with him. I can hear in your voice. " 

  
" He is also good . Everyone before was super tragic . "   
Mona rolled her eyes and sighed. 

  
" I will go home now. We have an exam next week. I don't want to step in this school anymore. " 

  
" Okay see you. Try not to get too distracted by dudes. " 

  
" Says you m/n. "   
She hugged me and left .  
I remained sitting on the bench. It was a little cold outside but I always genuinely enjoyed cold weather a lot more than heat.   
My legs began to rub in one another thinking of all things I could've done with Eren about now. 

**We texted :**

**Me :** So how was class ? 

**E :** Boring as always. I hate everyone here . 

**Me :** Same. Especially this woman who is constantly trying to flirt. Anyways I am texting you to tell you that I love you so much . Eren I really do .

**E:** Well. I certainly have some feelings as well. 

**Me :** Do you think this is good or bad ? 

**E:** They make me feel good , so I don't think it's bad. Just foreign . 

**Me :** Well . This is at least one step forward. Hey I've thought of something new we could try **only if you want.**

**E** : If I feel good , why would I care ? What is it?

**Me :** Come to my place at around 6 . I will let you know.

**E :** Sure.

* * *

  
**As discussed, Eren came to my place in the late afternoon.**

  
" Hi. " 

  
" Hey. " 

  
Damn his green eyes were driving me insane.   
He took his shoes & shirt off. 

  
" Are you trying to seduce me? " 

  
He raised his brows : " Is it working? " 


End file.
